


lonely are the brave

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Gen, M/M, Support, based after the car crash, bitter sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 06:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: aaron is called first about the accident, because, well, he's robert's next of kin?





	lonely are the brave

**Author's Note:**

> based on a tumblr prompt.

 

It would have been easy to simply say no. Well not _no_ , but just explain that the situation had changed, that it wasn't the same anymore.

But this just so happens to be about Robert, and well, Aaron's feet make the decision before his head does.

He’s with Alex and Liv and Gerry and his phone goes, and he hears Car Crash and then -

Not a lot else.

Because the next thing he knows, he's talking to some nurse and he isn't getting his words out right.

It's all just,

"Rob - he - I don't know if he's hurt or anything but -"

He’s worked up, he can’t help but be worked up over this. Because Alex told him to go, he said that it would be okay and that he understood that he didn’t really have a choice.

He's mad over the thought of Robert hurt _again_ and him waiting on the sidelines for news and thinking about all the wasted time.

All the regret that haunts him.

He isn't crying, he tells himself that as his eyes start to water and the nurse tries to calm him.

"They rang me, they said that - that he was here and -"

His heart stopped when they said that, it literally just _stopped_ and everything began to tingle and ache and feel too real.

"Robert Sugden?" The nurse, bless her, is trying to be helpful and Aaron manages to nod his head as he stares at her awkwardly.

"Is he -" He doesn't even know what he's trying to say but he doesn't need to think too hard before she's telling him where he is.

"Room 634." The nurse points him towards the end of the hallway and he tries to listen to her as she speaks to him. "We thought he may have had whiplash from the pressure from the car but -"

"But he's okay?"

But that's not true.

"A few cuts and bruises and - well, his head has suffered the most, which is why he's got to stay the night." She smiles a little. "You can see him if you like."

And _that's_ when Aaron's relief turns into something too thick and filled with something he can't describe and -

He's standing literally right outside Robert's room. He's staring at him, sat up, something pressed against his head and his shirt unbuttoned, hair ruffled. He looks a _mess_ and suddenly Aaron is painfully aware of the fact that he doesn't get the right to see Robert like this anymore.

So stripped _bare_.

The nurse looks at him strangely and then frowns. "I'm sure he'll want his husband here." She says kindly and it pulls Aaron's head up.

It's startling. It's been so long since anyone's actually said that and he doesn't know how to reply. So he just nods again before gulping hard and shuffling towards the door.

It opens with ease and Robert's staring at the floor, still, like he's attempting to burn a whole through it or something.

He doesn't even flinch as the door swings back and close and Aaron feels his feet get stuck to the ground.

He doesn't know what he's supposed to say because Robert is _fine_ , he isn't dead and that's what matters and maybe he shouldn't be here now but -

"Robert?" He says, and it makes Robert raise his head and _flinch_ and Aaron _sees_ his face. "Hey, it's only me." He whispers, steps forward a little and Robert shudders.

"What are you doing here?" Robert says, frowns harshly and Aaron has to fight to keep his arms by his side.

Aaron goes to speak and then Robert's chin is wobbling.

"Chrissie - Chrissie and Lawrence, they just - they're _dead_." Robert is shaking, and Aaron suddenly notices the blood on his hands.

Aaron's eyes widen. "Rob." He whispers, pulls himself forward and he's staring at the man in front of him. He's scarily far removed from what Aaron knows and he can't help but want that Robert back.

Only, Robert shakes.

"She was there one minute, she said she was going to hold on and - and the next minute -" Robert trails off, and Aaron sniffs.

Of course he's crying too. Of course.

It feels heavy, almost _unreal_ to think that Chrissie's just gone.

She was nothing to him, absolutely nothing at all really but at one moment in his life or,

For many moments, she was this beautifully successful woman who had the man who owned Aaron's heart.

She was _everything_ he wasn't.

And now she's _gone_.

"I'm so sorry." Aaron whispers. He is.

"It should have been me instead." Robert says, nods his head suddenly like he's certain and Aaron shakes his.

" _Don't_ say that." Aaron pushes out. "If you hadn't taken Seb then, God knows what could have happened to him eh?"

He doesn't want to think about it. He really doesn't. Because when he _does_ , Robert is, in so many dreadful ways, dying along with him and everything is just _blackness_.

And Robert's head hangs. "His grandad and aunt would still be alive." He whispers and then a tear falls down his face as Aaron stares at him and then kneels so that he can see Aaron's face.

"Look at me." Aaron says, and Robert slowly does. "It's going to be okay." He blurts out, just wants to make everything stop hurting Robert.

"You don't know that -"

Aaron frowns, "Course I do. I'm here. Your best mate remember?" He whispers and Robert gulps hard against the words.

"Is that why you're here?" Robert says, eyes distant as he speaks.

Aaron clears his throat, still kneeling. "They rang me, uh - I'm your next of kin." And it's strange, he doesn't know how to feel about it. A part of him was glad that he got to ask the questions and get the answers. 

It made him feel like he still had a _say_.

That he still mattered somehow.

And then he was thinking about the fact that if Robert _was_ hurt, it would be _him_ who was in charge of what happened next.

All life supports and time to say goodbyes and he's overreacting but his heart doesn't seem to want to calm down.

Robert's eyes widen suddenly.

"I didn't know what to think." Aaron's heart hammers in his chest. "You could have been - _hurt_ or -" and Robert looks so sorry suddenly.

"I didn't - you shouldn't have had to come." Robert gulps hard. "They shouldn't have worried ya, I'm so sorry." He's babbling on, hands up and waving all over the place and Aaron just frowns and touches Robert's knee.

"Shut up." He says and it cuts through the heaviness, allows Robert to smile faintly before he frowns.

"I forgot all about it. You know, making you my next of kin." Robert says, starts playing with his shirt.

"I don't remember even talking about it." Aaron blinks, gulps as Robert looks deep in thought.

"I did it when you were in prison. I wanted to feel close to you somehow. I don't know, it just helped." Robert looks away, looks embarrassed. He remembers setting it up, feeling like Aaron was sitting opposite him on the sofa as he did so. He felt like Aaron was _his_ for a second or two and it was everything he wanted.

They were married and that was what married normal people did.

Next of kins, Aaron.

Only ever Aaron.

Aaron gulps, frowns just a little because prison is a dark time of their lives and he knows that. It manages to create this awful swirl of guilt inside him and he knows all about wanting to keep a connection somehow between them.

It feels just like yesterday yet _years_ ago at the same time.

"I'll change it." He tells Aaron and Aaron's heart drops.

"Probably for the best, yeah." Aaron whispers and then he's getting a coffee, leaving Robert for a second until he sees Vic trying to find his room. She's got Seb in her arms and she bounces him up and down. "He's in there." He says and she's surprised to see him.

"I thought the worst Vic." Aaron's chin wobbles and she tuts before squeezing his shoulder.

"Thanks for being here." She says, like she knows it means a lot and Aaron just nods along before he's watching her from the window as she passes Seb into Robert's grateful arms.

He should go, but he wants to say goodbye first.

Only,

He thinks he's ruined a moment.

"Your mum is going to get better, I promise." Robert's shaking and then he stops as Aaron comes in. He looks blushed and gulps hard.

"I was just - I'll leave you to it." Aaron says, feels so out of place that he wants to cry.

Only he's not the one in tears, it's Robert, the new and improved bloke who is in touch with his feelings.

"I'm so sorry for dragging you in to this mess, I -"

But Aaron waves his hand up as Robert stands and places Seb in the middle of the bed.

"Don't be stupid Robert." Aaron says bluntly, no bite at all. "And don't be an idiot with him, don't let your guilt stop you from being the best dad for him okay?"

It's everything he needs Robert to know.

Robert bites his lip. "Anything else or?" He says, and God he does look like a wreck. He's pale and his freckles shine against his skin and -

"Come here." Aaron says, walks towards Robert instead and he's wrapping his arms around him and feeling the older man press his face into Aaron's chest and keep breathing hard and fast. "It's okay." He says softly, mouth pressed near Robert's ear and as he pulls away he kisses Robert's forehead slowly.

Not his cheek this time, something softer to ground him with.

Robert's eyes water as he watches Aaron move towards the door.

"Thanks Aaron." He blinks quickly and Aaron wants to stay, wants to hold his hand and let him cry and freak out and _mourn_ but it isn't his _place_.

And that's the saddest thing to know.

"Welcome." Aaron whispers. "Just - stop scaring the life out of me. I told ya, I don't -"

"Want me to die. Yeah. Cheers." Robert says, and he'd be smiling if everything else didn't hurt as much.

Aaron gulps and then looks down. "You can call me if ya need me you know." And Robert does.

"I know." He says.

And then Aaron's backing away, leaving the room and Vic's suddenly taking his place and she's hugging Robert and -

Aaron's heart isn't beating as fast anymore, it's settled because Robert's going to be okay.

And yeah, maybe he doesn't get to be that someone who _makes_ Robert okay but -

He'll smile through tears as he watches it happen.

He'll definitely smile about it, because living with all this regret in his heart isn't doing anyone any favours is it?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think of it! X


End file.
